


i'm scared (will you save me?)

by vinndetta



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: BE PROUD OF BEING TRANS, Coming Out, FUCK ANYONE WHO SAYS YOU'RE NOT VALID FOR BEING A CERTAIN GENDER, Internalized Transphobia, Ohhh boy, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, also includes dan and arin fucking around and making sex jokes, for a trans/cis audience for uhhhh trans appreciation day which is everyday thanks, i'm lowkey seething at our government, it doesnt get bad but . just a warning that there are some dark thoughts and a flashback, sorry i, the political climate right now is just a huge fucking yikes, this is made in light of recent political shit, trans people exist, uhhhh, written by a trans person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-09 09:11:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16446971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinndetta/pseuds/vinndetta
Summary: "So, you know the recent political things that are happening now?""Arin!" Dan gasped. "We never talk politics on this show!""Well, yeah, but this is serious."Dan paused. "Is it now?"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i cried
> 
> [b/n]= birth name/ deadname  
> [y/n]= your actual name

This day was not at all what it's like in the movies: first of all, there's no storm, and it's in the middle of the day. It couldn't even be considered cloudy, so the sun rained down on you. 

But you weren't surprised to see a bleary-eyed Arin opening the door in the middle of the afternoon.

"Oh..? [B/N]? Mmm... what's up?"

You stared directly at the man in front of you, the former classmate to your older brother and now your current best friend. You clicked with him, even though he was much older than you. And when you moved to California for college (away from Florida, away from your parents, away from the hellhole), you knew he was there (just in case...). And once college was over with, you tried your luck with your parents. So now, you were here, Arin as your closest back-up plan.

And then the storm within you threatened to leak out; inside of the eye of the hurricane, you felt as if everything around you had become a disaster, because of you, because of who you were (you could never be anything but a burden).

So the tears fell, and so did you.

-

Arin had, thankfully, managed to catch you in his arms before you had crashed into the floor.

"[B/N]! Oh my god! Are you okay?"

Your only response was a sniff. Arin gently led you inside his home, hoisting you up using the strength you didn't even know that he had. Meanwhile, he was trying to get you to calm down and figure out what was happening.

Inside, Suzy was watching some random show on the television, not really sure what was happening. She looked over at Arin, at first confused as to why there was someone in his arms. However, she quickly figured out that it was you, and came over quickly.

"Honey? [B/N]?" She appeared at your side in an instant, helping Arin lead you towards the couch. You sat down on the comfy material, which seemed to be sucking you inside of it. 

You weren't sure how many tears had fallen out by now, but you were sure you looked like a mess to them, tears streaming down your face and choked sobs coming out every five seconds. 

You had no one - you weren't even sure if they'd accept you. Your parents wouldn't, why would Arin or Suzy? Or your brother? Or anyone?

You felt the presence of the married couple around you, trying to reach out to you, but you were afraid of reaching back out to them. You were so, so afraid of the situation that you put yourself in.

-

"You say you're my son - well, you're not my child any longer."

You felt your heart shatter a little bit more, hearing that voice in your head saying those dreadful words again.

-

"Shh, shh. Hey, what's wrong?"

The voice brought you back to the present.

"Arin... Suzy... I..."

"[B/N]-"

"It's [Y/N], actually..."

Through your blurry eyes from the tears, you looked up and you could barely see Arin raising his eyebrow and Suzy widening her eyes. You bit your lip, and mentally prepared yourself for a repeat of what had just happened merely an hour ago with your parents.

"I... I came out as transgender to my parents."

-

"Aw, come on! You've got to be buttfucking me right now!" Arin let out a scream while Dan started to giggle.

"Not yet." He quipped back, which led to both of them laughing.

"Oh, oh, ohhhhhhhhhhh, you take this, I can't handle this shit anymore." All anyone could hear was the shuffling in the background.

"Aw, you okay, big cat? Need a cuddle?"

Arin let out a huge huff in response.

"Dan, I need you to rid my life of this stupid level of motherfucking Mario Maker before I lose my mind and explode via spontaneous combustion." The monotone statement was covered up by Dan's signature laugh.

They sit in silence for a few seconds as Dan started the level again.

"This is worth mentioning to our lovelies, so-"

"Fuck!" Dan exclaimed as Mario, once again, fell and made the "X" of horror on the screen appear. "That was the beginning of the level, fuck! There's so much more to get through..."

"Harder than it looks, eh?" Arin teased Dan, to which Dan groaned in response.

"Don't remind me how much I hate this. What did you have to say again?"

"Oh. Yeah. Uh." Arin coughed. "I won't be mentioning any names, so Matt, Ryan, edit out the name if I say it, yeah?"

"Goddammit," Dan muttered quietly as he got hit by Bowser's flame. After a few chuckles, Arin started talking again.

"So, you know the recent political things that are happening now?"

"Arin!" Dan gasped. "We never talk politics on this show!"

"Well, yeah, but this is serious."

Dan paused. "Is it now?"

"Yeah, Danny boy."

"D-d-d- what?"

They crack up in the background as Mario landed in the lava on screen.

"Anyway, this is about what Annoying Orange said-"

Dan let out a snort. "Do people still call him that?"

"Yeah, of course, dude! Have you never seen any Twitter or Tumblr posts?"

"Not really..."

"Anyway, I have one serious problem with what he said. I never bring up political views because I know it's just gonna leave a mess in the comments, but..."

There was a long pause. Mario stopped moving.

"... Arin..?"

"Dan, I... I need to say this, because it's important to me. Lovelies, this is probably the only time you'll hear me publically admit to a political viewpoint, so this is the only one that's absolutely canon."

"Canon? You'll really using that term?" Dan replied in a playful manner.

"Pssshhh, whatever, Dan." It was so easy to hear the smile on Arin's face.

There was another awkward silence as Arin hummed a bit, trying to figure out the words to say.

"My friend came over yesterday."

"Oh?" Dan's confusion was evident. Arin sighed a little.

"Mhm. It was... not exactly pleasant... I've had plenty of queer friends, you know. And I just want to let everyone know that transgender people deserve to exist."

"Oh... is that what this is about?"

"Hopefully it's enough to piece it together, but yeah. It's so dumb that this is a political thing. I've said this before, and I'll say it again."

Arin let out a deep breath, letting his next words sink in.

"Transgender people are beautiful."

-

You smiled as you watched the video.

You were in the guest bedroom - no, your room now, as Arin had told you only the day before - watching the latest Game Grumps episode. You usually didn't, as you found it weird to watch your childhood friend making videos for a Let's Play channel. But Suzy gave you the link, and your heart soared.

You were lucky to have the friends that you met along the way, another family. You wouldn't have it any other way, as you happily thought about the way you fit into the world of the semi-famous Grumps. You fit in like a long-lost puzzle piece when you thought you would be lost to time and space forever.

You don't think you could be happier with where you were in the world now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter dedicated to dex lol if you see this, hi

The panel was like any other Game Grumps panel. People would tell them that they were their biggest inspiration, dare them to something funny, ask them about Egobang, or whatever. Arin knew the drill by now. He loved interacting with fans, and loved talking to them, but sometimes, it was like a broken record of a song that he loved. The song kept repeating the same couple of seconds, but it was still his favorite song.

"Hey, what's up?" Dan asked the guy that had the microphone. They were ten minutes into their panel, and it was routine questions. Nothing interesting, except for this one question someone asked about who they'd think would win a pie-eating competition. 

"Hey! Love you guys, biggest inspiration, love all you guys do." Arin nodded and smiled. He heard this a lot, but every time, he was still happy to hear that people did appreciate what he did. It helped drown out the haters and really remind him why he was doing the things that he did.

"My question's for Arin."

"Yeah?"

"So, I was listening to one of your Mario Maker episodes the other day, and I was wondering, if you could tell us more about the friend of yours that caused you to say that you support transgender people."

Okay, this was unexpected. Totally blows the pie-eating question out of the water. 

Everyone's eyes were on him. He blinked, sort of unprepared to say anything, really.

"Well..." he started to speak, and then closed his mouth.

"Actually. This is a personal matter, isn't it? Let me ask my friend about what details I can divulge." Arin smirked, taking out his phone.

-

me: hey [y/n] someones asking about you because of the episode where i mention you can i say anything and is there anything you want me to keep secret?

-

Arin put down his phone on the table in front of him, and smiled at the guy asking the question.

"Anything else?"

"Oh, just thought of another question for Ross. How was teaching in Australia before Game Grumps?"

As Ross started to answer the question, Arin's phone lit up. He unlocked his phone to read the message from you.

-

[y/n]: im ok with you talking about it um just no personal details i guess like name or birthplace or social security number

-

Arin snorted. Dan glanced side-ways at Arin, who was sitting to his right. They both made eye contact, and it was almost as if they had a conversation nonverbally, because Dan nodded in understanding.

Ross finished answering the question, and Arin grabbed the microphone.

"Got a response, buddy." He nodded towards the asker.

Everyone's attention focused on Arin.

"I think I've mentioned this before, but I have plenty of friends that are LGBT, and I totally support them wholeheartedly." 

Arin heard a few people clap at that.

"However, as anyone who doesn't live under a rock knows, not everyone's like that. There are plenty of people who seem to believe that these people are lesser, and undeserving of love and respect."

"Yeah," Dan jumped in. "And everyone knows that we believe all people deserve love and respect, but we frown upon people who don't agree."

"Yeah. What Dan said. Anyway..." Arin hesitated. "One of my childhood friends... he's amazing. Absolutely wonderful. Supportive and kind, just overall a great guy. But... uh... some people important to him didn't think that way after he came out."

Arin closed his eyes.

"I remember that day, when he showed up to my door unexpectedly. He... he was the most upset that I've ever seen him. It was probably the worst day of his life, too. He cried when I opened the door, and once Suzy and I were able to get him to speak to us about what happened, he came out to us and told us what happened with his parents."

Arin shook his head, and looked out into the audience. They were hanging onto every word that they said. He knew that he had a lot of fans that were part of the LGBT community, and he knew that this would be a clip on Youtube, played as evidence for Arin being an ally. Whatever he said now, he knew it would mean a lot to the fans.

"I won't go into details, because obviously that's not good for privacy reasons. I remember thinking to myself that I've met his parents, kind people that I knew growing up. And I remember being angry that this one little thing caused these kind people to stop being kind to their own son."

"I can't even imagine how hard it is if parents don't accept you as their child. I have amazing parents, so I can't say that I can relate, but I know that my parents do mean a lot to me. And unaccepting parents have the worst effects on their LGBT children. How horrible is it for people to stop loving their own child just because they don't follow society's cisheteronormative standards?"

Arin smiled.

"So yeah, I reiterate what I said during that episode. Trans people - no - the whole LGBT community deserves to exist. They deserve love and respect. And if anyone tries to convince you otherwise, just know that I love and respect you."

"Ditto," Ross muttered into his microphone.

"We, the Grumps, love and respect LGBT people!" Dan proclaimed loudly. The audience cheers and claps.

Arin looks back out into the audience. They're grinning, happy. He doesn't see one person that seems to be in a bad mood because of what he said. Which is good, because he would definitely have some strong words if that had happened. He doesn't understand, and he doesn't think he ever will, why people hate other people for being themselves. 

He wonders, what would have happened if he had said no to you? What if he was just like your parents, unaccepting and cruel? Would you have another place to go? No, what would have been the emotional setback been if he had rejected you too? It still hurt you, and he knew that. It would have been a cruel double whammy if your parents and your best friend had been transphobic dumbasses. 

He's glad that you now have a support system. Watching you recover, make new friends, and have new smiles on your face makes him feel better. He hopes you will be a new addition to the Grump family. He wonders, maybe a little too soon, if you would mind being his child's godfather, if the time for children ever comes around.

Arin continues on with the panel, but he keeps the thought of you at the back of his mind, still smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> uhhhh pls kudos this and comment i love you guys muah!!! 
> 
> tumblr: vinndetta  
> hmu to talk about game grumps :0


End file.
